Toss this log on the fire and smoke it.

I’m bored. Let’s play a game. Would you rather…experience something that is quick and painful but is beyond your perceived boundaries or, something long and arduous (still painful) but percieved within your normal realm of ability?

To give you context to the hypothetical question: you’re a participant on the show the Amazing Race. You have a series of pit stops you have to go to along the way to a designated finish line in a foreign country and this is the dilemma you encounter. You have a pit stop where you could very well take the short cut but it be painful quick and possibly not something you can achieve or something that seems easier but takes you a long time.

I recently watched an episode where there was this pair of brothers that were in dead last on the Amazing Race. They had the option of doing an incredibly difficult task where they got to balance logs on their forehead or they could carry them up temple steps.

As I watched, glued to the boob tube, all I could think of as these incredibly chiseled cowboys strategized at the task of balancing several 20 foot beam poles on their forehead and walk 40 yards balancing the precarious log like flag poles across a finish line -- the task seemed virtually impossible. But together with sheer determination, teamwork and downright drive to brand something …errr…not quite sure what, perhaps, their opponents behinds, they finished the leg of the journey in 1st place.

Meanwhile every other team chose to carry a series of similar logs up the most crazy steps I’ve seen in a Buddhist temple. It took them a long time and what had seemed like less painful from the get go turned into a series of setbacks for everyone else. One person dry heaved. Others just couldn't handle it.

The end results from both decisions were unknown but what if one situation looks simpler from the outside looking in than the other situation. The rewards are unknown, the stakes are high. But one is perceived as easier. What would you do? What if the decision involved your emotions, in terms of pain or loss.

This hypothetical came to mind this week as I discussed some of the harder topics of life with close friends. If the known variable in a situation is pain than the general consensus from those I spoke with, our automatic response seems to be to not take the risk, to stay in the comfort zone of the supposedly known variables of life and try to avoid pain or anything that might rattle our emotions. But nothing is completely known. That’s not our place. Omniscience is one super power that does not belong to humankind.

The future is a mystery and will continue to be that way. And if we choose the road that’s most travelled, it is safe to say we are content in our ignorance of the unknown. (Where would the cowboys be if they hadn’t taken that risk.)

Like the Princess Bride wisely once said, "Life is pain. Anyone who is tries to tell you otherwise is trying to sell you something." It is inevitable in every situation. So why do we prefer to think that we fair better by trying to choose what seems easiest from the outside looking in. With high risk yields higher chances for greater rewards, return on investment from a financial perspective. How does this not apply with other variances of context to this hypothetical situation.

And if we don’t invest our lives in life, than how do we truly expect to live as we should? This post isn't necessarily supposed to answer any questions but spark them. One pitstop task is no better off than the other, it's just different. Are you willing to sacrifice, take risks? If so, what are you currently risking? Or avoiding?

Road Runner Dating & Albert Einstein

Growing up we had a tradition. Every Saturday morning I would rise early, make myself a bowl of cereal and try to convince my dad to get out of bed and come watch early morning cartoons. He’d rarely indulge my exuberance as from an early age I had a habit of rising with the sun and having something extremely unimportant to tell my sleeping parents.

From what my parents have now told me, it often meant I wound up on the back enclosed patio with a handful of rocks. Hey, the over-abundance of words I conjure up annoys even myself sometimes. I don't blame them for it. In fact I have no recollection of it so I'm not scarred. However if social services ever found out about it, I might have been a product of the foster system.

Nevertheless, Saturday morning cartoons were a saving grace for my parents. By the time Loonie Toons was on, Dad would be out of bed ready to laugh alongside me and the brothernator –aka Joel.

It impresses a fond memory upon my heart or at least it does up until I reached the part in the show where the Road Runner short came on. It was such an agonizing short for me as a child. I would sit there every time and believe that maybe, one day, Wylie E. Coyote might catch up with that pest of a bird, the Road Runner.

But it hit me recently in pondering how this simple cartoon has a lot of relevancy in the dating field, one which also causes as much agony and strife for most individuals in this age old traditional pursuit.

There is this ever so common human condition that we all suffer from in a lot of ways. I’m sure you’ve heard of it it’s called: we want what we can’t have. And we often learn the hard way that it’s just not worth it. Stop. Do some self-reflection, evaluation, seek wise counsel and prayer, or we just keep doing what Wylie E. does and just keep running like a headless chicken.

Now can you envision Wylie stopping his pursuits. Re-evaluating just how much is truly in the budget for the explosives, potentially maybe re-assessing why he’s running after the silly bird in the first place. The Cost –Benefit ratio just doesn’t balance. Deciding that Swiss Chalet would suffice as he is too hungry to continue going but alas, he does not.
But succulent rotisserie chicken just doesn’t cut it for Wylie and neither does settling for anything even remotely reasonable.

I read an article in Chatelaine about a woman who regretted not settling for any of the men she dated in her 30s. She’s now in her 40’s with a son who she went through artificial insemination for. A product of the whole pursuit I suppose. But hey, I can say that I would probably go through the exact same thing if I were her.

Her big statement hits home a very logical truth though. Her initial statement to women is that settling down requires settling. No man will meet perfection and vice versa. It’s incredibly simplistic yet we still seem to turn our noses up at everything but Road Runner.

I suspect we subconsciously do it because we recognize it as frivolous. It requires so little of our investment and heart that it's just easier than actually putting ourselves out there for someone that Yenta would advise us to be matched with.

This cycle will continue. But when is it an appropriate time to call it quits and where do whims meet logic? Wylie should have turned in the TNT after the second time. That’s my theory.

After all, I think it speaks to the adage fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Fool me thrice, isn’t that the definition of insanity, or wait, am I mixing up Albert Einstein with speed dating?

Then again, I don't think good ol' Albert even has an equation that deferrentiates between finding true love and figuring out true compatibility versus chasing after a bird while you're blind folded with a stick of dynamite in your hand. Just some food for thought that has been rolling around my head.

Up and Coming Challenges.

The natives are getting restless. I haven’t been blogging lately and some of my regulars have made comment.

I don’t really have a lot of important words to say lately. I did write a long diatribe about feminism and popular misconceptions that arise and exist in the dating world but they are more like a book in the making and two subjects that I’m not sure I want to touch at the moment. Something about suspected lambasting.

Anyways, this blog is more to inform you as to what is to come; an appetite teaser…sort of like the aroma wafting from the kitchen- to let you know what is to come.
I am heading off to Mexico and a blog about my experience is in the makings. Although the intent is more to teach myself how to relax so it might be a lot of dead space with the occasional…….and flip sides. Just so that you’ll get the overall effect of my sun tanning on paper in an I-experienced-it-with-her kind of way.

There is also a piece in the making for the Month of April. I stumbled upon this article about challenging yourself to try to wake up early for an entire month and how to train your circadian rythms. I’m going to attempt to try to do this for an entire month and see if I can reboot my system to become a morning person. The aim is to see if I can improve upon my productivity and whether or not it can be done for the month and if I can continue it past the allotted time.

We’ll see people. May or may not be able to be done.

Thirdly, some Guerrilla Gardening team adventures will happen. But not until I return from Mexico. You know we are coming, but you may wake up one morning to find that atrocious lot across the street that is such an eye sore completely manicured and pleasing to the eye. You never know.

A couple of things to look forward to. For now, I have to go finish packing and do some last minute tanning at the tanning bed to prep my skin for some UV rays. Bye for now!

Sourtoe Cocktail or the Grey Goose of Canadian Culture

We Canadians have a complex about our culture. And I firmly believe that because we just try too hard to be ourselves, our true culture becomes buried behind a lot of smoke screens unintentionally. Most cultures try too hard to create culture. It stems from the observation that people in essence try too hard to be themselves and end up just being irritating because who would appreciate the boring version? I have recently awakened to this realization: I over compensate when I feel like life doesn’t appear exciting enough. Similarly, like the rest of the culture I share with others, I think heaven forbid my true colours may shine through, like the Hudsons Bay Company colour scheme just may be shown to the world when the Olympics show up at our door. Oh wait, that’s already happened.

Heaven forbid Lululemon create clothing to mock the bureaucratic process by omitting any word that they could possibly be sued over just because they can make a mockery of it all. Who on earth would want to wear clothing with the phrase"Cool Sporting Event That Takes Place in British Columbia Between 2009 and 2011"? Now that is a sweater I would buy if I could find enough nickels between my couch cushions. Now that would be Canadian. Now that would be our true colours: our cheeky side, in essence. Oh wait a second, that actually happened too.

I find our culture amusing. We try too hard to be ourselves but in essence are defining what that looks like the more we try. Take for examples the astronomical amount of unnecessary large items in small towns all across Canada. Just so that the world knows that they exist, they’ll create the largest Ukranian Easter egg. I would know. I’ve done the Canadian family car ride across the prairies.

We assume people don’t want to enjoy the excitement of something flat and simplistic? That wouldn’t be complicated enough. So they have to ruin a perfectly good sunset with a fiberglass monument – an idol to everything ugly and unnecessary. We often overlook the true culture by misinterpreting the purpose of something that is innately part of us. It is common place to us so therefore no visitor to our culture would be able to appreciate it.

Similarly another example of us making it up as we go along and trying to prove extra hard of our cultural flavours is the Inukshuk. The unveiling of the 2010 icon created a sense of unity and awe as everyone tried to identify with an installed cultural symbol. Since the unveiling the tradition was born. people building Inukshuk balancing rocks all along the Stanley park seawall while the tides are out has become a natural occurring practice.

That act right there is almost the very root of Canadian culture. Let me explain. Douglas Coupland produced a documentary on Canada and to define Canadian culture, he bought a bland cookie cutter house in the suburbs in North Vancouver - where he grew up. He then filled the house with lots of odds and ends. Things that we have culturally clung to over the decades. Ironically enough some of his cultural references have already come and gone. He hosted a party to celebrate the unveiling of the house, and then, as an interactive artwork piece, he had the Canadian iconic home bulldozed. Granted I think this could also be a reflection of aging and an overall sense of irrelevancy once your ability to keep pace with cultural changes passes.
Just like the demolition of that house, those rock formations will crumble with the tides of time. It’s rather poetic on so many levels.

I recently discovered a gross but interesting nugget recently. And it brings me to the stories about our true heritage must be too strange to share or reveal which is why they become buried.

For example, up in Dawon's Creek, during the gold rush era a Saloon was trying to attract business and entice people with a specialty cocktail. They came up with the Sour Toe Cocktail. This concoction includes a floating toe that has been preserved. The first toe was donated by a miner that had it severed from his body for unknown reasons.

Over the years, they have created a club for people who partake in this tradition and one way to know you're a true "Northerner." Over the years when people have been inaugerated into the club, the toe accidentally is swallowed and a new toe is provided. Hence, the starting of the Sourtoe Cocktail Club. Authentically, and rancid Canadian heritage at its finest. http://www.sourtoecocktailclub.com/

Check it out. Now that is what you call a heritage. Why it's not broadcasted widely? Good question. I don't have the jammiest clue.

So I raise my glass to all things Canadian. However marginal, flat, simplistic, average or gross that they may be. There is nothing wrong with walking the middle of the road, It means that chances are you’ll survive that hair pin turn once the drastic cultural shift occurs. Change is inevitable and Canadians are prepared to weather it. After all, isn’t that why we are skilled at building igloos and keeping endangered species like Polar Bears for pets? Or we could settle on the grey goose of Canadian culture; it's just too strange/gross to be told.